The Supreme Court has decided that child rape is not a capital offense, and the death sentence is not applicable in such situations. As horrible as child rape is, I think I will find controversy when I declare I think the Supreme Court is correct.

Next to murder, child rape is probably one of the worst things I think one person can do to another. The physical act of intercourse is not as terrible, though, as the emotional and mental abuse. And, believe me, I know that a child's body is not ready for intercourse, and the pain is absolutely horrendous. I also know that such actions can physically affect a child for the rest of a very long life. But the reality is that the emotional scars are far worse than the physical scars, and there is nothing that will ever return that child to the innocence that ruled before a rape. I know this firsthand.

But never would I agree that a death sentence would be appropriate for such a situation. I would never want that person near me, but I don't feel that killing a life will ever replace a life or even repair a life. It only removes a person from the world, and all the pain and misery remains.

I don't have an answer, and I'm not able to define the punishment such a rapist should experience. But death is too good. That person would die with no further consequences. The child will have consequences for a liftime. Death of the rapist cannot wield justice. To find justice, the child needs to find the reality that makes him or her whole, and then use the experience to better understand the world, and fight against such horror. And the rapist needs to be punished in a way that never lets him or her know just how terrible life can be when such horror is delivered to a person. I don't know what that is. I know it isn't the easy way out: a death sentencde.

A man was shot and killed in the Morrison County Government Center, the Courthouse, today. A man with a long history of bitter angst with county actions opposing his actions, the man went to the commissioners' meeting with a gun in hand. He took hostages, and within a couple hours he was shot by law enforcement.

Rumors, again, abound. But the truth is, the county had acted so strongly against him that he felt so desparate as to take a step that he had to know would most likely end in his own death. I'm not saying the county's view on the individual issues was not correct, but I am saying that this man was not quiet about his anger and frustration. He tried to do things that the community didn't want (adult entertainment clubs/venues) in legal manners, but in the end, not only was he denied permits, but the court told him that he could no longer file his requests through the court system. The court felt his arguments held no merit, and the court dismissed the petitions and left no avenue for him through the justice system for him to find relief in such a "civilized" manner. He was convicted of promoting prostitution and was facing a jail term. He declared to everyone he would never go to jail. And he won't.

Did anyone listen to him? I think the courts and the community decision makers were so against him that they stretched some realities and used the court to make their position untenable to him. I know that feeling. I know a woman who had a restraining order granted because she ended up slapping someone in defending her position and trying to gain some ground. The judge at one point made it clear that she was not found guilty of any crime, but that to protect everyone, he was going to issue the restraining order. Without explicitly saying so, he was granting the petition to keep the two combatants apart and to prevent possible assault against her. But, with that order, he prevented her from seeking help from the local women's support center--and he totally disintegrated her family. The evidence didn't matter here; here, the way it works is that the court tries to prevent direct conflict and grabs onto any little piece of evidence to support their decision--ignoring the basis of the conflict and the real issues that need to be worked out between the parties and not through court orders that really don't mean much. The court here leaves everyone mad at each other because the court doesn't want to make unpopular decisions, decisions that the conservative population would not like.

I don't support the man's issues, I don't oppose them. I do oppose the manner in which this county makes decisions and ignores those people in the community who want to do what they want with their own property--and if that decision makes issues in the neighborhood, then those individual issues will need to be dealt with. Change has to happen in order to grow and develop good understandings of all people; when we restrict our opportunities by narrow thinking, then we have to expect that our view is going to be limited--and that will allow the rest of the world to grow and dominate, and then eventually that older world will conquer the little world we created...all because we didn't want to open our minds and realize that there is a reality beyond our own. Think of this from the gunman's point of view...and then realize the rest of this community will one day experience the equivalent on a bigger scale. We need to open our minds and give real consideration to actions that would not normally be our own. Maybe that reality won't really be as bad as we anticipate; maybe it will be worse.

The news had a story today that was so very sad: a woman jailed in Texas for not paying two traffic tickets died after ten days because she didn't get the medicine she needed to fight a staph infection. The news report is that she reported to her husband that the staff would not give her medicine, and she was put into solitary confinement when complaining she would rather be dead than live with the pain she was experiencing. The solitary situation is what happens with a suicide watch. The staff was apparently able to make a decision to not kill herself, but they could not prevent her from dying with medicine that no one could give her because it was not their job.

Apparently, in Texas, there is a contracted company that is responsible for providing medical care to jailed residents. If this woman had needed medicine, the report advised, she would have had to fill out a form , or "kite", and the antibiotics would have been provided. The story didn't say she didn't fill out the form, but it clearly stated the jail staff was not responsible for her not getting the proper medical attention.

I could not believe such a statement. Yes, another agency was responsible for the medical concerns of residents, but any time a person held in a confined space, that person is at the mercy of the people charged with providing adequate food, shelter and basic necessities for that person. It is incredible to me that the staff would hear her complain to such a degree that they knew she was in enough pain to rather be dead, yet that staff did not help to alleviate the pain. I'm wondering whether the facility gets paid more for solitary inmates than they do for those in the general population? Just a question that should be asked...

And lots of questions should be asked. According to the paper, this woman was mopping the floor on the day she died. Understanding that when she entered jail, she was already being treated for a staph infection centered in her underarm, I can't imagine the pain that woman must have endured--yet the staff didn't notice anything that was in their job description to take note of and try to address.

No, it wasn't the jailor's job to provide medical assistance to their charges; but it was their ethical responsibility to recognize pain and suffering and then try to do what was necessary to make things right. This doesn't take much, and it sure didn't need to result in death!

I hope that this situation teaches jails around the country that sometimes we just need to be human and be kind to one another. This woman died because she didn't pay two traffic tickets. Somehow, I don't think that warranted a death sentence.

I worked this weekend and had a lot of time to think and watch lot of television. This is an easy job, but boring. However, I can see why the mother needs respite care from this adult lady who sleeps all but about six hours a day. I think I need to find some kind of cheap laptop that I can use for creative writing on weekends. I don't need an internet connection, but it would be nice to be able to do something with my time there.

One thing that keeps coming into my head and knocking hard on my brain: those people who I meet that seem to get ahead all know what they want and go after it. They don't settle for what comes their way. Those who settle seem to do OK, but they don't reach the point of success that gives them a aura of self-confidence and competence. I kept thinking about this and even writing skills I've learned. For instance, writing to persuade emphasizes arguments that support the goal, that provide information in a light positive to the writer's intent. They don't waffle on options. They tell you what they want you to hear, and they get their point across.

In the same way, attorneys argue their cases. Yes, they know the opponent's case and viewpoint, but the arguments they make lead to the conclusion that attorney wants to present. They don't allow for the possibility that an opposite thought might be true.

And politicians are the same. This weekend, I heard McCain make a point by telling what he thought and then ridiculing the actions of the opponent's party. I had been prepared to vote for McCain until I saw this. Now I am ready to not vote at all, though that seems rather abhorrent to me. Too many people have lost their lives to give me the opportunity to vote for me to waste the opportunity...but you would think our political system would provide options that allow for a real world candidate, a person with goals and thoughts similar to those whose support they seek.

Instead, I heard the word "flip flop" again, as in candidates changing their viewpoint and flipping to the opposite choice of an option they were strongly vocal on earlier. I think what I want is a candidate who doesn't pretend to have an agenda that will get him or her elected; I want a candidate that really has such an agenda.

In the end, I realized this weekend that I have some goals, and the way for me to achieve them is to see the potential and not settle for less than I am ready to accept if such a compromise were not offered. I want to know that when I do something, it's because it's something I want and not something that was handy and so I took it. This is a new concept for me, and I hope it works out.

I am going to ramble in this posting, only because I feel like writing but am not sure what to write about. I like to write, and I want to write, but lately I feel like I have that thing more commonly referred to as "writer's block." So, if I just write, maybe a good subject will pop up.

I think it's a good thing to write, to let people know what you are thinking. It's like you are documenting history, creating a record that others can read and try to comprehend, try to understand the complete point of view of the writer. It also helps me clarify my thoughts. By writing, it brings together my errant thoughts into one medium, and that medium allows me to creatively express thoughts. Not all the thoughts are always exactly expressed, but it's surprising that sometimes it's more thorough than you would imagine.

I still haven't really explicitly expressed the very basic premise of this blog, that of incest and exploring the details that created the mental and emotional...maybe physical....aspects that I experience today--and experienced in the past. I want to make sense of everything, and maybe one day I'll be able to express it all eloquently and completely. Now, though, I skim the surface and try to make sense enough to allow me to further explore the depths.

Life can be good. Writing can be good. I hope to combine them into something that is good for me and good for others. We'll all see how it works in the end....