One week before Thanksgiving in 1997, my father died of lung cancer. That makes today the anniversary of the day I wrote:

A Prayer for Safekeeping

Take him quietly and gently, O Lord,
Hold him in your arms and safely call his name,
Give to him your grace in full accord,
And bring to him sweet peace and joy in same.

Lord, speak to him of things unknown, unseen,
Give him breath to speak of comfort taken,
Fulfill the faith that brings to each a scene
Of truth believed and life awakened.

Stand by his heart and guard his soul from hurt,
Take his hand: placing your knowing touch inside.
Direct his eyes to see the world apart
From tempered news of eartly loves belied.

Take unto you the damaged breath of time
And heal in him the heart of severed prime.

My father was a good man, and I know now tha his view of the world was not always clear. He tried to accept life as it came, but he dreamed of better things. He took happiness when he could, and he expected those around him to be honest with him--but he didn't always understand that sometimes his truth was not the same as others' truth.

My father did not always know the truth, and the truth he did know was not always real. But he always was as honest with people as he could be. I have a son that reminds me very much of him, and I hope with all my heart that my son takes that expectation of honesty in others and makes the dreams work for him in a way that my father always hoped would work for him.

I think I, personally, have lost my sense of hope--but I want my children to never stop reaching for their stars. I don't want them to be disappointed if they don't reach the sky, but I want them to enjoy the adventure and find that when life is done, they have lived a life that represents a person who respected life and all it offered.

I haven't felt like writing for a while. I wanted to write, but couldn't find the words.

The last time I worte we were about to vote. Democrats spoke loudly, but the republicans must have spoken louder in order for the Democrats to take control of both houses. I am a liberal person, and I lean democrat, but there are republicans I admire...but I still want this president to recognize that ideas have to evolve, and one cannot decide today what will happen by the end of the day tomorrow. We might have an idea, and even try to manipulate events, but there is no certainty until we reach the time of decision...and if we have made up our minds before we know the facts of the minute, then we will never take the best path toward the future--we'll take the one that we think we know, and sometimes we need to explore paths unknown. Remember that there is a trail, and somehow it will take us somewhere...and if we know the feet that made that trail, maybe one day we'll meet up with the complete person--and maybe even like that person. We know where we're going, and we're all wanting to go the same direction, but we each need to determine our own paths by following trails that others leave behind...or trails that take us places unknown, but the destination is always clear. We all want people to enjoy the best life that this world can offer. That is the goal we reach for.

Maybe I need to learn that truth in my own life. Or at least apply it.

Tomorrow is Election Day 2006. I am very disheartened to hear more and more people are not planning to vote. All year I have heard these same people complain about the state of this union, and then when push comes to shove, they don't have the strength of their convictions. It gets me pretty upset.

Right now, I'm not too impressed with any of the candidates. All of them are saying some pretty bad things about the opponents, and none are flattering. I did notice that the past couple days the ads placed by the candidates themselves seem to be promoting themselves moreso than the past few weeks, when they seemed more intent on denigrating their opponents. But, in the meantime, the naptional committees that fund advertising for the major campaigns seems to be getting more vicious in their attacks and less-than-honest implications.

So, I've been looking at the integrity of each candidate, rather than the specific issues. I have found that challengers seem to be more straighforward and honest than the incumbents, so--where they incumbents are identified--I will generally be voting the other way. If they are not identified and I don't know them, then I'll be voting liberal rather than conservative.

Conservatives don't tend to be open to new concepts, to new ideas that can illuminate new paths. While a long-burning, steady light might be a better deal, they always illuminate the same shadows and never exhibit the beams of brilliance that will allow for appropariate leadership. I like to be comfortable and know what will happen, so I would almost naturally vote conservative--but I also know that if we don't take risks, we'll never take the first step that will help us cross the bridge.

I think, if it were possible, we should vote for the candidate that can look you in the eye and tell you that he or she never conveyed a message--directly or by implication--that their opponent was not worthy of the job. Every candidate that runs for office is capable and worthy--for they want to be there, and they are a part of their consituency's outlook. However, if they demean their own position by finding it necessary to non-truthfully diminish their opponent, then I don't want that person representing me or my vote.

I will vote tomorrow, and I truly hope that every eligible person picks up their ballot and uses it with pride.

I attended a funeral tonight of a very successful man. A good man that lived long enough to put his children through college--one of them an Ivy League student. He made los of mone, at least relative to me. And he was caring and good, and wise. So, why would he die so young--at 56? What was it all for? I guess I have to ask what is our purpose here: what is the purpose of life?

I think the answer is that there is no purpose for life. There is no goal that defines the purpose of all humanity, a single reward that is universally recognized. I think perhaps our culture instills in us the idea that we all need goals, that there has to be something for us all to hope for. And we forget that life is meant to be lived, to be respected, honored and enjoyed.

Every day I do a job that I truly enjoy. And I dream of making lots of money and traveling the world, of being healthy and physically fit. And each day I love my kids even as I worry about them. But, in the end, my life is simply a life that started years ago and will end years from now (knock on wood). And how I spend the time between birth and death is determined by me, my family, my environment...all of it comes together to make me the person that I am. And the purpose in my life is to simply live it--from birth to death.

When I die, I want to be remembered for all that I did. I made choices that were good--and some that were bad. I suffer at times, but I also enjoy good times and good friends. I don't make a lot of money, and I dream of things that will never happen...and have things happen that I never dreamed of.

I have read various versions of the thought that life should be an adventure and not a journey. I like that idea.

Dis-Solution

Solomon sits high in front, considering
Every simple word that explodes
And allows a glimpse of the world
That is seen from every angle
But rarely understands completely.

Pollyanna trusts the wisdom
And hopes for God to care
And places her faith in Solomon
Not knowing that truth
Is not enough, without honesty.

John has no faith except in walls
That protect from broken hope
And barricade against the hurt
Created when friendship died
When words could not connect.

Moses closes his eyes and dreams
With hope for love from all the world
And faith in possibilities,
Not yet aware the world and time
Don’t always turn on level.

With all the wisdom of Solomon,
And hope of Pollyanna,
And faith that God inspires,
It is the innocence in Moses
That will one day build the world.