I am wondering what would happen if I have gallbladder problems, and for some reason, all the tests eventually come back normal--showing no problem, but the pain continues to linger. Will this do damage to my gallbladder if it is misdiagnosed and I really do have a non-functioning gallbladder?

A friend told me how he went to the local hospital with stomach pain, and they did a upper GI. Found nothing. He went home and his stomach suddenly hurt worse than ever. Talking with his doctor, the doctor said the increase in pain was due to the test and it would calm down. A day and a half later he traveled to a hospital about 45 minutes away--and he had a ruptured appendix! If he had gone another half hour, they figured he would not have survived.

This is the same doctors and hospital I am dealing with. I have a gallbladder function test on Thursday. Ten years ago I had the same test, and it showed that my gallbladder was operating on the low side of normal--at least as far as the "timing of the bilial system" was concerned. And last year, I had similar pain, though less painful, and I talked with a doctor that was not my regular doctor. She never touched my stomach. She just told me to stop drinking all soda pop and add a serving of fruit to my diet each day. The pain has continued, from ten years ago, through last year, and now I can hardly feel it. Will they find the problem on Thursday? If not, where do I go from here?

I guess I'll know more after Thursday....

I read a blog today that made me think about religion and the role it plays in my life. I have a faith in God, and I believe I understand many things that are a mystery to others. Simple faith can be a good thing, but sometimes--like Job--we need to understand more than that which is taught by tradition and good people in good places.

The things I understand are not from things that I learned in a formal church. The things I understand are things I learn from God. He teaches me so much, each and every day. The lessons are taught in ways I don't recognize until I stop and reflect, and then things come so clearly to me that it seems completely unimaginable that others have not come to appreciate the same truths.

Many times, the things I learn come from the people I know who have so little...little except their faith and their need for hope. They place their faith in God, pray to God, and then hope that they recognize the answers God provides--and one thing I learned is that hope is nothing more than a desire for something that comes through means other than faith. With faith, there is no need for hope, for faith will affirm God's abilities, and we will know that our answers will be answered. There would be no need for hope in the presence of true faith, but sometimes our faith is tested, and that gives rise to the human need for hope when faith cannot be recognized.

The truth is that God has given us all we need, and he provides us the opportunity to go forth in his grace. We, alone, must decide if we follow his faith in us or if we fend for ourselves. We pray that we have the future that would make our lives as full as possible, but, in the end, we just need to do what is right and God will take care of us and all our needs. That is the kind of faith that each of us should aspire to. Unforunately, we don't always "let go and let God."

I think, personally, that God is great. Awesome. And I mean this in a most respectful manner. God has provided us with this world, and we have the opportunity to make the most of ourselves and of this world. In the end, God will make the world the best place it can be, but we have to understand that sometimes the best is not always the most obviously developed piece of goods. Sometimes a peanut butter sandwich beats the biggest sub with the most freshest ingredients. We need to know what is right and good, and that will make our worlds good and right.

I pray that each person comes to know God in a personal relationship, and I hope that every person has faith that God is good and knows best.

Why does it make me upset when a friend asks me if I called in sick to work today? I am in pain, and I feel awful, but I hate missing work--so I go even when I feel badly. Yet, if I complain of so much as a simple cold, everyone I know seems to think I am going to call in sick. Though I have 100% attendance, for some reason, if I am ill, then I am ridiculed if I call in sick to work.

I woke up this morning feeling absolutely fantastic. As the day progressed, my side/stomach felt worse and worse, and my fatigue continued to get worse and worse. By the time I got home, all I wanted to do was lie down and sleep. I called for pizza delivery, and then my friend called and the first question was whether I called in sick--and then complained about all the ways people have to complain for missing work. One person called in to his work and said he couldn't come to work today because he had some appoinments he had forgotten about. To my friend, this was one of the most lame excuses he had ever heard. Maybe it was an excuse, but if it was true, then would it still have been lame? Shouldn't he go to appointments that may be very necessary?

And if I miss work, it would make me more sick to think of what would be waiting when I returned. I took off Friday afternoon, and when I got back to work today, I could have gone I had been gone for a week. Four hours of time has put me back about a week in time. And I have to miss on Thursday to take a gallbladder function test. I hate the thought of trying to go back to work and catching up on all his work.

Still, I feel guilty just for him thinking that I would call in to work for such a flimsy excuse as feeling sick. I guess I have to actually die in order to miss work for a good reason--and, if I die, it better be permanent.

OK, now I am just plain ill and I don't want to fight it any more. However, circumstances say I have to wait. The doctor was out of the office today, so no test results until tomorrow. I felt a bit better at work, but tonight, I feel like I could pretty musch just collapse. I feel nauseous, but not extremely so. But it sure wouldn't take much for me to have my stomach let go....

Oh, well, I've pushed through it all before, and I'm sure I'll be doing this for a while.

In the meantime, it was brought home to me that I sure ask a lot of questions...and apparently some people think that's because I somehow want to know more than anyone and be a showoff of my intelligence, or they think that's what I want when I ask all these questions. The truth is, it's the only way I know to socialize. I don't want to talk about myself all the time--that would be rude. So in order to keep the conversation going, I ask questions.

And I rarely voice my opinion. Every time I voice my opinion on something, someone somehow ridicules it. If not immediately, then later when I least expect it. So, if I ask questions and just let others talk, I hear about others, they get to talk about themselves and I feel somewhat protected from ridicule.

Maybe I shouldn't feel like that. But I do. That's reality. And if I were to ask why, then that's just another question...

Today, the pain grew too great. I couldn't deal with having to work through it, so I left after lunch. This pain hurts way too much to just sit there and try to coordinate my shipments. But, I figured, I couldn't just go home and let this go on, so I made an appointment with my doctor. My own, actual doctor. Not someone else when he wasn't available. I liked that.

Anyway, apparently the level of pain and its location is "concerning." I had a low grade temp, my pulse was 84, and my BP was 126/82. My ears and tonsil area are a bit irritated, but not really inflamed. None of this was alarming to him. But he didn't like the level of pain in my lower right rib area...and dully duplicated on the left side. I ran the full battery of gall bladder tests about ten years ago (which is when I found out I am definitely allergic to contrast dye for CT scans), and they were all negative. He thought, though, things have changed since the pain is very defined and a bit higher in the abdomen than the generalized pain that was present back then. So he ordered an ultra sound.

I thought I was going to die of the pain of the test. It shouldn't have hurt that much as they ran the pointer thing over my abdomen side and back. They used gel, but it just hurt any time they put on a little pressure. Tears were in my eyes. But, the tech said, she didn't see any stones. However, the lab doctor needs to look at it before any definite conclusions are reached. The test results will be given to my doctor tomorrow, and he'll call me.

My doctor was fairly certain I have gallbladder problems. So was the lab tech--but the ultra sound doesn't apparently show when the gallbladder simply isn't functioning. And my daughter, my mother and one sister (maybe two, I have to talk to her) all had their non-working gallbladders removed, and none had gall stones. But the doctor told me today that if there were no stones and the gallbladder walls were not thick, then we would have to "wait and see." I'm not really sure what that means, but when he cals with the results tomorrow, I'll find out.

So, I will see what happens. All I know is that I feel terrible. And I want to feel better. I cannot continue like this.